i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
