when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
