u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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