Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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