O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
