Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize