Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize