You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My nipple is on Facebook.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
