He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
