This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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