even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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