So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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