My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
