Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
