PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
