After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Randomize
