belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
