But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
