If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
