Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
