Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
