I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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