I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
