fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
