The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
