Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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