with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
