First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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