you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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