I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
