no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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