I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
