Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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