I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
