I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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