Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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