You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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