And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
