If i come over, it means nothing
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
