trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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