I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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