I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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