Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
