If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
