do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
