Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
