My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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