you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
