That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
