we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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