Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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