took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
