I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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