who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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