I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
