FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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