My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
