check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
