I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
