she was so not down for the gang bang
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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