one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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