did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize